Here's Looking at Blue, Kid
by TheHappySpaceman
Summary: This fanfic asks the age old question: What if Sonic the Hedgehog got dating advice from Humphrey Bogart?
1. Sonic Asks Amy

The alarm went off in Sonic's ear.

"Ug, what time is it?"

Sonic looked at his alarm clock. 6:00 AM. He turned off his alarm clock and got out of bed. He put on his shoes and gloves and went upstairs.

The hedgehog pulled out a bowl. He looked tired. He got the cereal and poured it into the bowl. He then got a spoon and poured himself some milk. He carried his bowl over to the TV, turned it on, and was just about to start eating when he heard a knock on the door.

"Ug, I hope it's not that stupid salesman." As Sonic got up, he spilled some milk on his arm. "Dangit," he said as he wiped the milk off his blue fur. He set down the bowl and walked to the door.

"Hey, Sonic!" said Amy as she barged in.

"Dangit, Amy!" said Sonic as she walked past him. "How many times have I told you not to come barging in here at six in the morning?"

"I'm sorry, Sonic," said Amy. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out on a date with me."

"I've told you before, I don't want to!" yelled Sonic. "Get that idea out of your head! We were never meant to be together!"

"Okay, but if you change your mind, I'll be out here!" Amy laughed as she stood by the living room door. Sonic grabbed his bowl and went into the living room. As he walked by, however, he accidentally bumped into Amy. They both looked at each other, with love in their eyes. Then Sonic looked away and sat down.

The TV was playing _Casablanca_, for the 40th time. "_Casablanca_," said Sonic. "Humphrey Bogart really knew to handle his women. He acted suave, debonair... If only I could be like him around Amy."

Suddenly, Humphrey Bogart looked at Sonic. "Who, me? Suave and debonair? I'm not acting that way, I'm just being myself!"

"Wha- Humphrey Bogart?" said Sonic.

"Yep. That's me," said Humphrey. "Now, I hear you've got a pretty nice girl who wants to go out on a date with you."

"Yes?"

"And I hear she's hot, too."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that you can't hide your emotions forever! Just be yourself! I'm not programmed to be suave and debonair! That's just who I am! I'm just being myself! Now, do you like her or not?" asked Humphrey.

"I kind of like her," said Sonic. "But she's kind of annoying. She keeps referring to me as her 'boyfriend.'"

"So, ask her out!"

"Okay," said Sonic. "I just hope this is a good idea." Sonic finished his breakfast, and then got up and looked at Amy.

"Come on, Amy," said Sonic.

"Where are we going?" asked Amy.

"We're going on a fracking date," said Sonic.

"Oh boy!" said Amy. "I'll be waiting outside, Sonic!"

But Sonic was way ahead of her, as he backed his motorcycle out of the garage. As Sonic got his helmet, he saw Humphrey give him the thumbs-up. Sonic and Amy had never had much of a relationship. But that day was the start of something new, and the two hedgehogs didn't know what would happen yet, but whatever it was, it would be great.


	2. The Date

They drove for five miles, until they finally came to a stop by a big log cabin.

"Whoa," said Amy. "What is this place?"

"This," said Sonic, "is my big brother's log cabin."

"I didn't know you had a brother," said Amy.

"Well, Shadow's like a brother," said Sonic, then, under his breath, added "a really mean brother."

The two hedgehogs went inside, where they sat on a big couch.

"Amy, I want to ask you something," said Sonic.

"Yes, Sonic?" said Amy.

"You know I like you, right?" asked Sonic.

"Yes, Son-wha?"

"Yes, it's true," said Sonic. "As much as I try to hide-" Suddenly, both of them heard a strange sound.

"Uh oh, it's Shadow," said Sonic. "Quick, Amy! We gotta hide you!" Sonic grabbed Amy's hand and hid her in a closet just as Shadow was entering.

Shadow had joined a motorcycle gang with Knuckles and Rouge. That day, ironically, he decided to bring the entire gang to his log cabin.

"Hey, little brother," said Shadow. "What are you doing? Juggling your girlfriend?" Shadow laughed.

"Ouch," said Knuckles.

"Guys, it's my life," said Sonic. "Can you let me live it the way I want to?"

"What I'm wondering is why you and that stupid girlfriend of yours don't leave this house!" said Rouge.

"Hey!" said Amy as she jumped out of the closet. "I'm not stupid! Do you want me to whack you across the head or what?"

"Get lost, losers!" said Shadow as he pushed Sonic and Amy out the door.

"Don't worry, Amy," said Sonic. "Shadow's a moron sometimes. Let's go somewhere else." They got on Sonic's motorcycle and were off. A few minutes later, Sonic ran out of gas.

"Dangit, I ran out of gas," said Sonic. He called the tow truck.

"What do we do in the meantime?" asked Amy.

"Hold on," said Sonic as he pulled out $20 and tucked it under a tire for the tow truck driver. "Hop on my back." Amy got on Sonic's back and they were off. Sonic ran as fast as possible, with Amy still on his back. They finally stopped at a mansion.

"Whoa," said Amy. "What _is_ this place?"

"This is only Tails' mansion," said Sonic.

"Huh," said Amy. "I never knew he had a mansion."

"Well," said Sonic, "he's renting it for the year. Maybe we can stay here for a while."

"Maybe," said Amy. Just then, Tails rushed by.

"Hi, Sonic," said Tails. "The X-Tornado is broken. Could you hand me the wrench?"

"Uh, sure," said Sonic as he walked inside and grabbed a wrench.

"Thanks," said Tails. Sonic and Amy went inside.

"You know what the problem is?" said Sonic. "Everybody's always everywhere all the time."

"I suppose," said Amy. Sonic went into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of frozen spaghetti. "Want some spaghetti?"

"Sure," said Amy.

Sonic heated up the spaghetti in the other room. He brought the spaghetti in on a big plate with two forks and sat down next to Amy.

"I never learned how to eat spaghetti," said Amy.

"And I never learned how to swim," said Sonic. "So basically, we're even."

"I suppose," said Amy. A few minutes later, they were down to the last few spaghetti strands. Sonic and Amy decided to slurp up the rest of the spaghetti. However, the two hedgehogs accidentally slurped the same spaghetti strand. Their lips came together and they both blushed.

"Man, I hate it when I do that," said Sonic.

"Same here," said Amy. At that moment, Tails came in.

"I need a screwdriver," said Tails.

"Okay," said Sonic. He got up, mixed some orange juice with vodka, and gave it to Tails.

"What's _this_?" said Tails.

"It's a screwdriver," said Sonic. "Just like you asked for."

"Okay," said Tails as he drank the screwdriver. "BLEH! This has alcohol in it, doesn't it?"

"Hey, it was _you_ who asked for a screwdriver!"

"No, no, NO! I want a _screwdriver_!" Tails looked around and saw the tool that he was looking for. "Aha! A screwdriver!" He went to the table, grabbed the screwdriver, and flew downstairs.

"This isn't exactly what I expected this would be like," said Sonic.

"Me neither," said Amy.

Amy and Sonic just sat there for a few seconds. Then they looked at each other. Sonic's love for Amy was showing in his eyes. Sonic grabbed Amy's arm and they started to kiss when Tails came back up.

"Oh boy!" said Tails. "Do I smell spaghetti?"

"Uh..." Sonic and Amy straightened themselves up. "Well," said Sonic, "I think it's time for us to leave, right, Amy?"

"Er- yes, it is time to leave," said Amy. "See you around, Tails." Sonic and Amy left Tails' mansion. Sonic grabbed Amy and ran her to her house. When they got there, Sonic looked at Amy.

"I'll see you, Amy," said Sonic.

"Thanks, Sonic..." said Amy as she walked into her house, then paused outside her door and added, "...for everything."


End file.
